Finding my way

Some time ago I looked at you
You gave my security, took away my doubts
Made me feel safe about being me
Now my vision is cloudy and unsure
What once was seems less there anymore
Things changed when they shouldn’t have
All the denial in the world won’t fix them

Tied up with myself
Not knowing what to think
The security is gone

I look at me and the spot you used to be
It seems more empty then before
All I see is a spot on the floor

My best friend you were
A place in my heart you’ll always have
A great friend you still are

But now when my heart overflows
When my mind goes
I run away from the pain
But no longer I run to you
On the floor next to the spot that will always be yours
There is a new one
One I trust
Not replaced
But lost the monopoly

More sure about myself everyday
Thanks to great friends I must say
Friends that were there for me
When you couldn’t be
They keep me sane
When realising you and I will never be the same

Rens Molenaar (21 October 2005)